Verbal Heavy Lifting

With the arrival of 2025, I think there's a slight chance I might've caught some kind of bug. Why? Well, I woke up with every symptom of having a bug - runny nose, dry throat, exhaustion, coughing, sneezes so violent they scared the cats - so I am beginning to think there's a chance I caught something. Maybe. The jury is still out, but the smart money says it might be a bug. And when I catch a bug, this usually means I take a time out from the more strenuous parts of life. However, that doesn't mean I become an unproductive lump on the couch (which is actually an option). I just get involved in tasks that provide more return than the effort might suggest.

While this is an important endeavor in managing one's life, it's also important in writing as well. We can communicate ideas and describe thoughts and places with a specific batch of words that will paint an accurate picture of what we are trying to portray, which is... nice. However, our word choice carries a lot of weight in how effectively these things are communicated. Deciding on the verbiage we use can set the stage for mood, intention, and all those other things existing underneath the description.

Consider the following sentence: "It was Spring Break 2010, my sophomore year in college, and I knew it would be an epic vacation the moment I stepped onto the beach and its white sands." So, here we go - the sentence sets us up with a time, a place, and an aspiration. The sentence is... nice. However, can a few extra words help us get a lot more mileage out of this? Let's explore "white sands" for starts. This is perfectly suitable, but it's an opportunity for so much more. What if we make it, "sands as white as..." and then throw in something that is white but also carries some extra baggage. If "as white as" is followed by "purity itself," there's the implication that this experience will be transcendent, perhaps even cleansing. If we use "confectionary sugar" instead, it suggests more indulgence. If we go with "cocaine," well, now we are in the realm of hedonism. These few extra words don't give us any insight into the whiteness of the sand but tell us instead about the character's expectations. 

And if we're going to talk about verbiage, let's go straight for the verbs themselves. In our example, our character stepped onto the beach. "Stepped" is fine. It's... nice. However, there are so many ways to step that can bring the world forward so much faster. Going with "strolled" or "sauntered" creates a relaxed atmosphere. "Staggered" or "stumbled" would fit in nicely with the hedonism idea. Or we could explore that step a little deeper and put the heavy lifting behind the actual act of that first step. What about, "...the moment my sore feet sank felt the healing warmth from the soothing white sands," or, "...the moment my bare feet again connected with the pure, unblemished white sands." A few extra words, but now focus is claimed by this singular experience; one moment in time tying everything together with just a few words.

When we do our first drafts, we often don't do a lot of heavy-lifting phrases because we are just looking to create our piece. However, once we do that, we usually become more in touch with what we want to communicate, themes we want to touch upon and points we want to make. At this juncture, we take the opportunity to find ways to tweak pivotal phrases and enhance specific moments so they do that lifting for us. We turn a few phrases, doctor up a few sentences, and realize the story is immensely better with just a small amount of work.

Now, as for this bug I think I might have, I think the only heavy lifting I will be doing is lifting bottles of cold medicine. However, I will make sure it is done to its best effect, and only when I am absolutely sure I do have a bug that I think I might have. (or not.)