More Dirty Words

A number of years ago, I posted, "Dirty Words (Even Worse Than Swearing)," where I discussed words we use which are offensive to basic writing. This was mostly about using the passive voice in the narrative, excessive flavoring words, and wishy-washy words, but this is a very deep well of a subject. So, in that spirit, I would like to bring up even dirtier words, mostly because they need to be exposed for what they are.

"Suddenly" - This one is particularly offensive not in an obvious way but because of what it tries to do. Starting a sentence with "suddenly" (or its hideous cousin, "all of the sudden") is a real drama fiend; it tries to create a sense of action when the action is already obvious, or intensify something when the content should make it obvious. Saying, "Suddenly, the car exploded..." is nice, but it's cheap. Does a car explode in any other manner than a sudden one? Just leading with "The car exploded..." gets things done, or if you want to be more engaging, put it reference to a character rather than the explosion itself. "Tom flew back as the car exploded twenty feet in front of him, broken glass raining down..." Now you have your explosion, but you look at it from the effect, not the event. "Suddenly" is really weak, and can cheapen the writing when used improperly.

"Almost" - I don't like adding this to the Dirty Words list, but it makes the list because it is often co-opted by weaker writers rather than used as a progression. "With his fingers almost reaching the key, Steve forced his shoulder between the barred gate for that extra inch of distance." This is a good use of almost, and should be recommended. Sinful writers, however, go with the, "Tom almost fell off the curb but caught himself at the last second..." use. In short, the dirty use of "almost" is to say something almost happened, but didn't. We hear it a lot in everyday discussion: "I almost threw up from that meal (but I didn't)." "I was so sick I almost died (but I didn't)." "I almost became a doctor (but I didn't)." In dialogue, it's natural, but more engaging writing avoids such things in the narrative and elaborates on what did happen, not what didn't.

"Like" - I've brought this one up before but it deserves a little refresher. The use of "like" has plenty of good uses, mostly as a verb. "He liked his toast dry." That's fine. As a simile it works as well: "The toast was dry like the Mojave Desert." However, this is where we often slip up and rely on it to explain the sentence. I often use the sentence, "The house looked like an orphanage from a Dickens novel." We let "like" set the stage, and it takes us off the hook from doing more, such as, "The house was a run-down, Dickensian orphanage." Describe what it is and stick to it, and don't lean on things such as "like" to point out that it's not exactly what you said it is. Let the assumption fill in the spaces.

Yes, there are plenty of other candidates on my Dirty Words list, and some are more offensive to writing than others. If you think you might be using (or overusing) one, ask yourself, "Is this word adding something new to the discussion, is it repeating some other piece of information, or is it contradicting something?" If it's doing something other than adding something new, it's probably on the Dirty Words list. (Or it should be.)